It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and I’ve been struggling all week with what I wanted to say. This year’s theme is “You are not alone,” which I adore since sharing my infertility story brought me so much love and support during our struggle. Still, there were days when, despite the love around me, I felt so alone. How do I honor the love shown to me while still acknowledging that I often felt alone.
During a particularly low day, one of my nurses said to me, “I’ve been hoping for you. I keep your name in my hope box to remind me to hope for you.”
I was so touched.
Now that I’ve survived infertility and come out on the other side with two beautiful happy endings, you might think that infertility is part of my past. It’s not. It’s an ever-constant part of who I am. While I may not talk about it much these days, I haven’t left that community or stopped supporting those dealing with this disease.
You see…I have a box of names now. It’s a plain, cheap black jewelry box. I’m not even sure where it came from, but it lives in the drawer of my nightstand. This little box is full of names. It’s full of the names of those I’m sending hope to, no matter what stage of the journey they are in. Just starting out, IVF, adoption, laproscopy, hysterectomy, Clomid, you name it. Whenever I see someone tweet or blog about their struggles, their name goes into the box. There are blank pieces too, since I am hoping for those whose names I don’t even know.
If you are struggling, I am hoping for you.
i am hoping for you even when you can’t hope for yoursevles.
I see you.
I have hope for you.
Even in your darkest days when it feels like you have no one, I will hope for you.
You are not alone.